The Official French Fries Pages:
22 Things to do with French Fries Besides Eat Them
French Fries are very versatile, indeed. You don't get to almost every country in the world in less than five decades without being extraordinary, and French Fries are certainly extraordinary.
- You can use them to fill small cracks and keep out drafts.
- You can play "Pick-up-Sticks" with them.
- For an extra Pick-Up-French-Fries challenge, salt them first.
- You can take the little ones and lay them out in a row, with each
one parallel to the other and perpendicular to the direction of the line
they form. Then you can take the long ones and lay them on top of the
short ones in two parallel rows perpendicular to the first row and you'll
have a French Fry Railroad!
- If you don't have many long ones, you can still make a French Fry
Monorail!
- Waffle-cut and round-cut fries skip well, when thrown correctly, over
bodies of water when no flat stones can be found.
- Bait. Fish like French Fries, too.
- Fodder. With some 40% of the world's potatoes used as animal feed,
why not give all those burgers-to-be a treat and make some French Fries
for them?
- Thin, over-cooked "shorts" can be used as environmentally-friendly
toothpicks.
- French Fries, when wrapped with a steel jacket, make inexpensive
test projectiles for rail guns.
- If you're stranded on a desert island with nothing but potatoes,
oil and string, you could make French Fries and tie them together to make
a raft to sail back to civilisation.
- If you're trying to quit smoking, a French Fry has a similar size
and shape and can be held in the hand just like a cigarette.
- Ketchup can be put on the end of the French Fry cigarette to make it
look like it's lit.
- If the French Fry is hot, it will really look like you're smoking,
but you might burn your fingers.
- French Fries make great door stops; The firm shell will not mar most
wood and metal doors and the soft center will absorb a lot of force.
- When the batteries in the remote control are dead, a well-thrown
French Fry can change the channel.
- French fries can be stacked in columns in front of a window for added
privacy and insulation.
- French Fries can be used to cover a runway in order to soften the
impact for any airplane with no landing gear.
- A lot of French Fries tied together make an excellent pendulum when
the grandfather clock in your living room is broken.
- Cotton wrapped around the ends of a French Fry makes an excellent swab (you could call it an "FF-Tip").
- A French Fry is the enviromentally friendlier instrument with which
to stir a cup of coffee. Tell 'em to keep the plastic stir-stick; who
needs more landfill?
- A long French Fry can be used to tickle the back of your throat to help you make more room to eat more French Fries!
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